the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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