Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
