I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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