Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
