i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
