Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
