have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
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