a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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