i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
