Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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