Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
