I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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