So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
