In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
