I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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