i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
