After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
birth control should be required to get into college
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
