Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
