i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
