what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
