Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
