I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
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when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
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A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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