sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
