I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
