i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
