shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
