Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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