We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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