she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
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