you have to choose: penises or morals?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
