I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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