i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize