I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
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