actually, I'm a sock model
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
