ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
