How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
No subtext here. People are naked.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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