If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
