guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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