was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
