Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
there was a trapeze. enough said
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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