p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
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she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
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You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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