i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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