i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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