sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
