bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
