my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize