How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
BRING THE BAGELS
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
