i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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