I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize