Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
and she was petting her beer can
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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