okay pat passed out under dana's car
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I wear drunk well.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
