There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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