How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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