now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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