...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
