She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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