i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
