What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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