I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
