i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
